T H E G O O D F A T H E R
"What in human history has been more overrated — and caused more pain, sorrow and death -- than female virginity?" -- from a comment on Judith Warner's blog:
http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/06/12/pure-tyranny
/index.html?th&emc=th
I highly recommend this blog post which I have just read this morning as it is valuable for inspiring so much controversy and discussion on the subject of female chastity. Both religious and secular sexism, misguided parental concern for daughters, lack of parental concern, a hook-up society, women owning their bodies, men owning everything -- these issues and many others regarding sexuality are seldom resolved to everyone's satisfaction in any culture.
The 6/12 blog post, "Pure Tyranny," begins with a discussion of hymen reconstruction surgery among French Muslim women, then proceeds to a discussion of an annual Father-Daughter Purity Ball in Colorado, and ends with a statement about how much behavior that passes for "protection" of women is "sick".
I find it hard to disagree with her arguments. As for the situation among French Muslims (and not only in France) cultural diversity laws may go too far in allowing too much familial interference with women's chastity. No woman should have to submit to an examination by a doctor of the groom's family's choice. If the couple are both okay with each other's state of chastity or lack thereof, then that should settle the matter.
I also, of course, agree that parents should teach all their children to make informed choices, not only girls. However, sometimes I wonder how they do it (I mean convince young people to preserve chastity) -- it's hard to fight such a powerful biological imperative, even with draconic penalties. But there should be a fair playing field -- girls should perhaps shun extreme provocative behavior and dress; boys need to stop bullying girls into having sex and stop putting notches on their belts for every out-of-wedlock kid they've sired...and don't support.
http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/06/12/pure-tyranny
/index.html?th&emc=th
I highly recommend this blog post which I have just read this morning as it is valuable for inspiring so much controversy and discussion on the subject of female chastity. Both religious and secular sexism, misguided parental concern for daughters, lack of parental concern, a hook-up society, women owning their bodies, men owning everything -- these issues and many others regarding sexuality are seldom resolved to everyone's satisfaction in any culture.
The 6/12 blog post, "Pure Tyranny," begins with a discussion of hymen reconstruction surgery among French Muslim women, then proceeds to a discussion of an annual Father-Daughter Purity Ball in Colorado, and ends with a statement about how much behavior that passes for "protection" of women is "sick".
I find it hard to disagree with her arguments. As for the situation among French Muslims (and not only in France) cultural diversity laws may go too far in allowing too much familial interference with women's chastity. No woman should have to submit to an examination by a doctor of the groom's family's choice. If the couple are both okay with each other's state of chastity or lack thereof, then that should settle the matter.
I also, of course, agree that parents should teach all their children to make informed choices, not only girls. However, sometimes I wonder how they do it (I mean convince young people to preserve chastity) -- it's hard to fight such a powerful biological imperative, even with draconic penalties. But there should be a fair playing field -- girls should perhaps shun extreme provocative behavior and dress; boys need to stop bullying girls into having sex and stop putting notches on their belts for every out-of-wedlock kid they've sired...and don't support.
Labels: chastity, paternalism
