U N S T A B L E K A R M A

What a strange, stressful and wonderful year I have had. I am not sure whether the good and bad balanced each other out. I only know that the bad was painful and in some cases I am still dealing with it, and the good was often completely unexpected and surprising.

As to the good things that have happened, finding a nice apartment in a great neighborhood, thanks to someone in town who knows this area well. I am glad I've kept in touch with him. He is also very funny and makes me laugh.

Then there are several separate instances of money coming in to grace my bank account. The most unexpected, and smallest example is that involving changing the address on my cable tv account and being told that the former tenant left a balance in his account when he moved and this tidy little sum was transferred to my account. The only other tenants here are a very friendly young couple who have been very helpful to me.

There is also a lawsuit with a titan of American finance and a communication from my attorney that they have finally agreed to settle. I'll let you know if the attorney and some other creditors leave anything for me.

On the down side moving was very stressful and exhausting, especially with recent appearance of annoying weakness, exhaustion and other discomfort which various MDs are in the process of trying to diagnose by various tests and procedures (in some cases uncomfortably for me). It seems clear the symptoms were not just caused by stress of moving. At least in all other respects I feel fine!

Some of the good recent happenings, great neighbors, apartment, money unexpectedly coming in, remind me of things they talk about in systems like the well-known "The Secret" which has never done a thing for me, along with other positive-thinking schemes that I have tried at times. After analyzing this "failure" I am wondering if that is because I am not strongly enough motivated. This may be because I am already comfortable and not discontented enough. That is, on some level I don't want so much more than I have. I strongly desire enlightenment, for example, although not enough to work hard at achieving it. But maybe in a crazy way I am already enlightened (just a little).

Wait - a nice coincidence just occurred. After writing just a few minutes ago about money coming in, the doorbell rang, and there on my doorstep was someone waving a check at me! A hand delivery of money that was promised me in connection with a business agreement but which I could not be certain of receiving. Now I'm off to the bank....


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Life is a dream
And dreams are real;
Let's change our dreams
and live them...